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<title>Happy Golden Daze by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (hutchabelle)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442463">Happy Golden Daze</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/buckybarnesdeservestobehappy'>buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (hutchabelle)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Best Friends, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Confusion, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dirty Talking Bucky Barnes, Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, Gay Steve Rogers, Kissing, M/M, Male Friendship, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Orgasm, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Bucky Barnes, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Realization, Roommates, Self-Denial, Sex, Sexual Confusion, Shame, Stucky Bingo 2020, Surprises, Top Bucky Barnes, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:28:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/buckybarnesdeservestobehappy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long night of work at the docks, Bucky heads home to make sure the apartment he shares with his best friend Steve isn't too cold. His early arrival means Steve wasn't expecting him, and that's why Bucky has front row seats to a show he never expected to see. He's shocked to find he really likes it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087151</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020, Stucky Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Shift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Square Filled: C4; Color Blind<br/>Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes); Bucky Barnes &amp; Steve Rogers</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky walks a little faster as the wintry drizzle increases. He’s off work early, which makes him happy because he could use the extra sleep after a long shift at the docks. He hates working nights, but the pay is better. It won’t be for much longer, and it’ll help him put a little away for Steve’s inevitable illnesses this winter. He needs a cushion, so there’s no delay in seeking treatment. He made a promise to help his best friend after Sarah Rogers died, and he’s not about to renege on it. Bucky Barnes is a man of his word.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not hard to sacrifice some of his independence for his best friend. Steve and he have been inseparable since they met on the schoolyard when they were five, so it was logical Steve would move in with him once he lost his mother. When they both started working, they moved out of the Barnes’ household and got their own place. Steve’s a good roommate, if a little grumpy in the morning, which is why Bucky’s got to be exceptionally quiet when he gets home. No need to wake Steve just because he got off work early.</p><p> </p><p>He briefly considers stopping by to see Dot. They haven’t been on a date in a while, though she’s always happy to see him. He wouldn’t mind getting a few kisses from her, but he’s not the cleanest he’s ever been. Besides, the weather is terrible. He should get home and make sure the stove is lit, so Steve doesn’t catch a chill. Easier to keep him well if he doesn’t have to expend all his energy attempting to stay warm.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky trudges up the stairs to their third-floor walkup. He tried to get a place on the bottom floor to spare Steve’s lungs, but they both wanted a balcony for those warm summer nights when the breeze doesn’t quite reach inside. Besides, Steve’s doctor hinted the physical activity of climbing stairs might actually be good for Steve’s lungs rather than weakening them.</p><p> </p><p>Quietly, he unlocks the front door and steps into their place. It’s not freezing, for which he’s grateful, so he doesn’t have to risk waking Steve up by adding more coal. He toes off his boots and leaves them placed neatly by the door before creeping across the living space, avoiding that creaky board, and entering the darkened bedroom. He glances at Steve’s bed, expecting to find him cuddled under the covers and sleeping soundly. That’s not at all the sight that greets him.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky stands frozen, dumbfounded at what’s before him. Steve’s sitting on the bed with his back to the wall and his eyes screwed shut underneath a furrowed brow. His legs are splayed, his shirt rucked up to expose his stomach, and his hand is wrapped around his very hard cock. He’s breathing hard, tongue peeking out at the corner of his mouth, as he moves his arm, jacking himself with short, rough tugs.</p><p> </p><p>Stunned, Bucky watches, unable to tear his eyes away from the dainty hand wrapped around Steve’s erection. Steve has artistic hands, long fingers that can wield a paintbrush and pencil with equal ease. Bucky’s never thought about those same fingers wrapped around a penis, Steve’s or anyone else’s, and it’s both shocking and something else he can’t quite pinpoint. He’s not completely naïve. He knows Steve masturbates, just like Bucky does sometimes, too. They are roommates, and he’s seen evidence in towels and dirty laundry. That doesn’t mean, though, that he’s prepared to watch it happen right in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s hand slows, and Bucky’s mouth goes dry. He can see it more clearly now, the raised veins and the drop of moisture pearling at the tip. It’s oddly erotic, which doesn’t make sense because this is Steve, his best friend, not some John in a dirty picture. He can’t think straight, mind buzzing with so much new information, and he’s a little bit troubled by the stirring in his gut.</p><p> </p><p>“Buck?”</p><p> </p><p>His eyes snap to Steve’s face, and Bucky flushes a deep red. Bucky wonders for a moment if Steve’s color blindness extends to his skin tone. Steve has to know he’s embarrassed. Neither of them know what to say, and Bucky’s positive his expression is one of sheer panic. Steve’s watching him, apprehensive, but Bucky can’t find any words. He also can’t move.</p><p> </p><p>They stare at each other for several seconds that feel more like hours. Steve’s brow smooths out, and he surveys Bucky carefully, unsure what Bucky’s silence means. Holding his gaze steady, Steve doesn’t move, doesn’t apologize, doesn’t do anything but watch Bucky spiral. For his part, Bucky has no idea what action to take, but his eyes flick downward unbidden. He’s sure a horse has kicked him in the chest recently because he can’t breathe, especially when Steve’s hand moves again.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s mesmerized, his eyes trained on Steve’s cockhead as it disappears in his fist several times. His breath hitches when Steve twists as he tugs, and Bucky glances up again. Steve’s watching him, lips parted just a smidge, his breath uneven, but his expression sliding into one Bucky can only describe as relieved pleasure.</p><p> </p><p>It should be weirder. That’s all Bucky can think. Steve continues to masturbate, jerking himself harder, while Bucky watches. He doesn’t want either of them to stop. He can’t think about what this means, about how things might change between them if he doesn’t leave the room. Instead, he decides to enjoy the show because the image in front of him is beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>Carefully, he crosses to his own bed, a twin pushed against the wall on the opposite side of the room from Steve’s. Mirroring his best friend, he climbs onto his bed and sits with his back against the wall and his feet dangling over the side and watches.</p><p> </p><p>Steve whimpers under his scrutiny, and Bucky realizes he’s affected. He’s not stiff, but he’s not soft either, his penis chubbing up under his work clothes. He’s a little surprised at his response but chalks it up to untapped energy from his shift ending early. He would have had to take care of himself later anyway. It’s just that there’s erotica on display for him that’s producing this reaction. Of course, that’s the reason. No other explanation makes any sense.</p><p> </p><p>Steve closes his eyes again, his head dropping back against the wall as his mouth falls slack. His breathing grows more labored, and his hips are just starting to jerk in an imperceptible response to his rhythm. Steve groans lustily, and Bucky’s nipples tighten at the sound. His breath has picked up a little in response to Steve’s movements, and he’s feeling slightly lightheaded. He must be overtired or something.</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s breath hitches repeatedly until his blue eyes open again, bright and glassy, and latch onto Bucky. Steve’s face is flushed, the deep pink spreading from his cheeks down his throat and tinging his stomach. His thighs shake as he pumps his arm, and Bucky’s sure the exposed flesh is soft and feverishly warm. Steve babbles, garbled thoughts spilling from him as his stomach tightens, and Bucky cheers him on silently. Steve thrusts upward now, meeting his fist with his hips in a frantic chase.</p><p> </p><p>Steve hisses and slows, his hand loosening. Bucky raises his eyebrow, but Steve doesn’t speak. He’s shaking his head, his eyes closed again, desire replaced with shame. His hand falls slack at his side, but Bucky can’t take his eyes off Steve’s dick. It’s longer than he’s remembered from the few times he’s glimpsed it over the years—hard not to when they’ve spent as much time together as they have—and it curves just a little toward his left shoulder. Moisture glistens at the tip, and the flesh is angry and swollen, veins pulsing from pent up pressure.</p><p> </p><p>It’s so wrong. It is, but suddenly Bucky doesn’t care. Steve needs to come. He’s shaking with need, and Bucky’s never been able to deny Steve anything, unless it’s letting him take on a gang in a fight. A choked sound bubbles up from Bucky’s throat, and Steve opens his eyes to watch him warily. Keeping his face open and accepting, he undoes his belt and fly. As Steve’s pupils expand, Bucky reaches into his pants and pulls himself free.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Steve breathes, his embarrassment alleviated by Bucky’s response.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky grunts in annoyance, restricted by the clothing catching on his hips. He wiggles his pants down to his knees and bends them, giving Steve a better view of his own anatomy. Steve devours him hungrily with longing looks, and Bucky licks his palm. Steve’s eyes darken at the action and glow like embers when Bucky wraps his hand around his cock and sighs.</p><p> </p><p>He closes his eyes then, allowing the familiar act to lull him into a languid state. He strokes slowly, rubbing from base to tip with a firm grip. He grunts as he grows fully erect, blood pulsing and buzzing in his veins. He knows Steve’s watching him, and that makes this routine task more than a little salacious.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s breathing is uneven when he opens his eyes to a gorgeous sight. Steve’s hand is back on his cock, pumping again in time with Bucky’s rhythm. Steve’s watching him intently, licking his lips and panting. The mortification is gone, replaced with anticipation and eagerness.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at me, Stevie,” Bucky orders, the words surprising him as they rumble from his chest. He hadn’t planned on speaking, but they just tumble out. Steve’s blinks, and Bucky repeats, “Look at me.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve squeaks at the command but obeys. Bucky swallows, turned on beyond belief that, for once, Steve isn’t resisting him just to be a punk. Instead, he’s compliant, seemingly awed by Bucky’s tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Wasn’t expecting to find this when I came home today. Never thought I’d see you all hot and needy, fucking into your fist like you can’t live without it. Never thought I’d like it so much either. Did you want to get caught, Stevie? Did you want me to walk in on you with your hand on your cock and aching for it?”</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s mouth gapes, and he curses as his eyes drift shut. His fist tightens on his shaft, but Bucky isn’t done.</p><p> </p><p>“I said to look at me. I mean it,” he snaps, and Steve blinks open slowly, his gaze cloudy and eyes rolling. “Listen to me. Tell me if you understand.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Steve sighs and shudders.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to c—” He stammers to a halt, unable to believe he’s about to say this to his best friend, but Steve’s so close and so in need. Bucky can’t stand it when Steve’s desperate. Clearing his throat, he admits, “I want you to come, and you want that, too. Don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Y-y-yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, what? Tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I want to come. Please, Buck.”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s hand tightens, and he picks up speed. His balls are heavy, and he can’t stop his own hips as they thrust upward. His curiosity has evolved into pure horniness, and he has to work to keep his voice steady. He’s got to help Steve. That’s his responsibility, even though this particular act hasn’t ever been part of the deal before today.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep stroking, Steve. Keep fucking into your palm.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve hums in the back of his throat and nods. “Okay. Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I can see you’re leaking, Stevie. Can see you dripping with it, so smear that in your hand and use it to lube yourself up. Make it slick and easy. Can you do that for me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” he whines, high and breathy. “Bucky. Yeah, I can. I can do that for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you slick?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve can barely speak, so turned on his voice registers an octave higher than normal. In contrast, Bucky’s drops, deepening as he observes, protective of Steve’s enjoyment. Bucky’s still jacking himself, surprised at how good it feels to share this with his friend the way they’ve shared everything else. In a lot of ways, it makes perfect sense for them to masturbate together, urging each other on and basking in the other’s success. It’s how it’s always been with them, so he wonders how they’ve gotten this far into their friendship without it happening. He finds he’s already looking forward to the next time, even while he’s reveling in how good he feels in the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Stevie, I can tell you’re close. I know you are, so I want you to concentrate on my voice, okay?” Almost incoherent with want, Steve nods. “I need you to put the fingers of your left hand in your mouth. Do it now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Buck, why?” he wails, squirming against the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Do it, and I’ll tell you. I promise, Stevie. You trust me, don’t you, pal?” Steve lifts his hand and sucks on his index and middle fingers with a groan. When Bucky can tell they’re nice and wet, he growls, “Take them out. Take them out, and open yourself up with them.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s… Oh, fuck, that’s…”</p><p> </p><p>“Do it, Steve. Fill yourself up. I’m doing it, too. See?”</p><p> </p><p>Steve struggles to focus, and he bucks into this hand when Bucky sucks and then presses against his own puckered flesh. He cries out when he penetrates himself, and Steve answers with a yelp of his own.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re stupid with it, aren’t you? Just dumb for a cock up your ass. I didn’t know, Stevie. I didn’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bucky! Shit, Buck. Please, please, please…”</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you liked cock instead of pussy? Your whole life? You been wanting someone to fuck you into the floor, but I kept setting you up with dames? Is that the problem?”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky can tell Steve’s about to explode. He’s so close, but Bucky wants to shove him over the edge, not let him tip into it gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I can just see you on your knees, sucking dick, so eager to please. I bet you’d swallow real good, Stevie, and then be all shy until you get him hard again and he bends you over and splits you in two. I had no idea. Glad I know now, though. Glad I know what makes you happy.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s glowing, his skin sheened with sweat, muscles quivering, thin frame heaving with gulped breaths and his shirt tucked up in his armpits. He’s a wonder, frantic with need but surrendered to Bucky in a way Steve’s never acquiesced to anything.</p><p> </p><p>“You look real good all loose and open, Stevie. So pretty.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s moaning loudly, his head thrashing from side to side, as he fingers himself and jerks his cock. Bucky watches, admiring the stamina, as Steve’s back bows and he chokes into a silent scream. When he climaxes, it spatters over him, from his waist to his neck, soiling his shirt as he grinds against his fingers. He’s loud, cursing and begging, until the tension drains from him. His head lolls to the side, and Bucky smiles fondly, pleased at how good his friend must feel.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky plans to stop. He really does. This is about Steve, not him. His actions are altruistic—not for himself but to make sure Steve doesn’t feel any shame of his own sexuality, his own desire that he’s hidden from Bucky for years. Bucky doesn’t need this, doesn’t need the release the way Steve does. He’s got dames who will suck him off when he wants it, so he doesn’t have to keep going right now. Steve’s finished.</p><p> </p><p>Alarm builds inside him because he can’t control his limbs. They aren’t obeying the orders his brain screams at them. In disbelief, Bucky watches as he yanks his cock and works himself open until he can’t stop it from happening. It rolls through him like a slow, delicious wave that breaks and retreats and breaks again. Eyes wide, he shouts as he spurts not once or twice, but three times. Panicked, he looks at Steve, positive he’ll see disgust, but Steve’s watching, fascinated. He’s stroking his half-hard shaft lazily, a dopey smile on his face, his eyes glued to Bucky.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky doesn’t know what to say or do. He’s completely flabbergasted by the entire situation. He hadn’t ever considered that Steve wasn’t into women, but there’s ample evidence Steve’s turned on by men. What’s even more shocking is that Bucky’s never contemplated that his love for Steve was anything other than a deep friendship, but he can’t deny that seeing Steve in the throes of an orgasm—even watching him masturbate—turns him on as much as he’s ever been.</p><p> </p><p>What if this doesn’t have to be a one-time thing? What if Steve wants it to happen again—maybe with them doing what they’d just done to each other instead? Bucky can’t wrap his mind around it, but he knows he’s going to ask for it anyway. After all, Steve won’t deny Bucky any more than Bucky can deny Steve.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First Kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After walking in on his roommate, Bucky realizes his relationship with Steve will never be the same. It's both terrifying and exactly as it should be.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title: Happy Golden Daze (First Kiss)<br/>Creator(s): buckybarnesdeservestobehappy<br/>Card number: 022<br/>Square filled: B5 First Kiss<br/>Rating: Explicit<br/>Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply<br/>Major tags: Bottom Steve Rogers, Top Bucky Barnes, Kissing, Friends to Lovers, First Time<br/>Summary: After walking in on his roommate, Bucky realizes his relationship with Steve will never be the same. It's both terrifying and exactly as it should be.<br/>Word count:  ~1800</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dazed, Bucky stares into space for several moments before Steve’s gentle cough rouses him. He’s still sprawled on his bed, his pants down around his ankles after having just jerked himself to the image of his best friend doing the same. He’s liquid and spent and floating in a golden cloud, but Steve’s movement startles him into action.</p><p> </p><p>Self-conscious, he struggles to his feet and tries to figure out how to clean himself without stripping in front of his friend. He doesn’t even bother to examine that little nugget of hypocrisy before Steve scrambles up on shaky legs and shuffles toward him like a newborn fawn.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s struck again at how pretty Steve looks with his rosy cheeks, bright blue eyes, and spit-slick lips. He’s a little bashful as he peeks up at Bucky, unsure and apprehensive. Bucky’s heart actually hurts, and he longs to wipe away any doubt Steve has. Overwhelmed, he hauls his friend to him, unconcerned that he’s smearing their clothes worse than they already are. Wordlessly, he tips Steve’s chin up and looks into those sparkling eyes.</p><p> </p><p>The world slows. It must because there’s no other way to describe how slowly they move together, drawn by something older than time. Their lips brush, passing back and forth against each other with such gentleness it makes Bucky want to weep. It’s the perfect first kiss, sweet and shy and loving.</p><p> </p><p>“Stevie,” he breathes, so profoundly moved, he has no words. “God, Stevie.”</p><p> </p><p>Their lips meet again, and something breaks inside Bucky. Everything he’s ever known about himself, his best friend, and his attraction to the opposite sex rearranges itself with his mouth pressed against Steve’s. Curious, he tilts his head and nudges Steve’s lips open. His tongue sweeps into wet heat, and he chokes on a groan. Steve tastes more satisfying than spun sugar, and Bucky loves sweets. It’s only a few seconds before Steve sighs and wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck. They’re filthy, covered in fluid and the grime of the docks, but that doesn’t matter. They can’t get enough of each other.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky breaks the kiss and trails his lips along Steve’s jaw, biting and nibbling the skin before scraping his teeth against Steve’s graceful neck. Steve sobs with want, and Bucky crowds him against the wall, determined to get as close as possible. Clothes fall quickly, both frantically grappling with the barriers between them. When they’re naked, Bucky picks Steve up by the back of his thighs and wraps Steve’s legs around his waist. They both hiss as their cocks rub together, twitching with interest. Steve squirms against the wall, his back to the icy plaster that leeches too much heat to the outside.</p><p> </p><p>“Bucky,” Steve pants. “I need—”</p><p> </p><p>Growling, Bucky tosses Steve onto his bed. He stalks toward him, stopping only to reach into his drawer in the bureau to pull out the slick he keeps there. Stretching out on the bed, he hauls Steve against him and kisses him again. Steve responds with so much enthusiasm, Bucky has to pull back to catch his breath.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re a little wildcat, aren’t ya? I can’t believe I didn’t know. Can’t believe…”</p><p> </p><p>Steve touches him then, his hand curling about Bucky’s cock, and his brain short-circuits. He’s never had a man’s hand on his dick before besides his own, but it feels amazing, the callouses scraping his skin just right. He tries to slow down. He attempts to gain control. He struggles to work through what this all means, but he can’t. He’s been in a dream state since he walked in the room, and he’s helpless against it.</p><p> </p><p>“Gotta get you on my cock,” he confesses, the words sounding lewder than they feel. It all seems right—all of it, like he’d only been living half a life before now. With shaking hands, he slicks up his dick, mostly hard again already from Steve’s touch, and lifts Steve to straddle him. Steve arches his back and bites his lip as he positions himself, and then he’s sliding down Bucky and Bucky can’t think and they’re both calling out so loudly there’s no way their neighbors won’t hear.</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s eyes flutter, and Bucky needs him closer. Sitting up, he twists so his feet are on the floor while Steve clings to him, mouths pressed together like the rest of them. Bucky can’t quite breathe. The pressure on his cock is excruciating with Steve tight and hot around him. He’s positive he’s already dead because nothing this side of Heaven feels as good as this does.</p><p> </p><p>Until Steve moves, and then Bucky’s achieved nirvana. He shouts at the slide of Steve against him, his eyes unfocused and wrapped in a cloud of light. He can’t speak; he’s lost all control of his senses. Steve’s groaning his name in time with the rise and fall of his hips, pleading for another release. Bucky’s scared of what’s coming. They both just rode out incredible orgasms within the past hour, and he’s afraid another will break them.</p><p> </p><p>That can’t hold against Steve’s warmth and vigor. He practically bounces on Bucky’s cock, taking it like their union is lifegiving, his head thrown back in victory as he rides Bucky with abandon. That scrawny chest heaves with every cry released into the air. Frail limbs work tirelessly as Steve ruts and grinds. Bucky’s powerless to do anything but watch Steve as he fucks Bucky. It’s mind blowing, but it’s also sexy as hell. Steve’s his sex angel—innocent and lovely and taking him to heaven.</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s moans turn to breathy whimpers. He keeps rutting, even though he must be sore from Bucky’s size. Bucky wants to wipe away the frantic gleam in Steve’s eyes, but he’s carnal, swept up in passion and barely clinging to sanity.</p><p> </p><p>“Touch me,” Steve begs. “Put your hands on me.”</p><p> </p><p>“We gotta slow down, baby,” he slurs and jolts at his use of the unexpected term of endearment. “Don’t wanna hurt you. Stevie, you gotta—ah—we gotta—”</p><p> </p><p>Steve rocks faster, frantically chasing his high, rearing back, his hands planted on Bucky’s shoulders for more leverage. Bucky can’t stay quiet, sounds ripping from him without his consent and falling around them in piles of useless protests that they’re going too fast.</p><p> </p><p>“So close,” Steve whines, his voice cracking, and Bucky’s heart squeezes again. Slicking up his hand, he wraps it around Steve’s dick and jerks hard several times. Then Steve’s coming, nothing like the first time, but enough that his release coats Bucky’s hand. Bucky groans as Steve’s walls massage him, gripping and releasing until Bucky’s spurting into Steve, emptying his soul into his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>They collapse in a tangle of limbs, sweaty and gasping for breath. Bucky tries to pull away, but Steve clings to him, his body quaking in the aftermath. Bucky’s chest is hollowed out, empty and bare and exposed. Everything’s going to change, and it’s terrifying. He’s just fucked his best friend when less than two hours ago, he’d contemplated visiting one of his dames for a quickie. Bucky’s whole world’s upside down, but it’s also perfectly right for the very first time.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, silently, they break apart. Bucky watches, fascinated, as Steve pulls off him. He’s wet and loose, milky fluid running from him, and Bucky growls animalistically. That’s his spunk inside Steve, and he fights a sudden urge to push it back inside Steve’s body and keep it there forever.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s arms tighten around Steve, cradling Steve’s head against his shoulder and rubbing his fingertips up and down Steve’s spine. He’s scared to let go, positive as soon as he does, the haze will shatter, and he’ll return to the world where they’re only best friends, nothing else. Now that he knows what more there is, he can’t bear to be without it.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, Steve snuffles against his neck and props himself up on his elbow. With a rueful grin, he admits, “That was even better than I ever imagined. You’re… Bucky…”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s mouth ticks up in sheepish half-grin. “I am Bucky.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you are,” Steve gasps. “I’ve always known.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’ve imagined…this?”</p><p> </p><p>Steve nods. He opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. Gasping like a fish without air, he studies Bucky with half-lidded eyes, and Bucky finds it way too endearing. Cupping Steve’s jaw in his palm he brushes his thumb against Steve’s cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Grinning, Bucky murmurs, “I’ve never heard you struggle to find words before.”</p><p> </p><p>Leaning down to kiss him, Steve murmurs against Bucky’s lips, “Well, now that you know how to shut me up, you should do it more often.”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky brushes hair off Steve’s forehead and cups his cheek. “There’s so much to think about.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t,” Steve pleads. “Please, don’t talk yourself out of this. I’ve waited for so long. Don’t take it back before we’ve even started.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stevie, this won’t be easy. You’ve got to know that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve never backed down from a fight in my life, Buck. You think I’m going to start now when you’re the price I’d pay to do that?” His chin juts out stubbornly, and Bucky trails his fingertip down the curve.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he admits softly. “You’re too obstinate and reckless for your own good.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’re too cautious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe, but you have to realize, I’m still in shock. This— This wasn’t supposed to happen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it was,” Steve insists. “We’ve been best friends since forever. We live together. We spend as much time together as possible. We go out on dates together, even if it’s not with each other. I have a thousand sketches of you. You take care of me, and I take care of you. In the ways, I can, anyway. You didn’t think there could be more?”</p><p> </p><p>“I had to practically beg you to move in here. It’s not like you were standing on my doorstep with a suitcase pounding on the door and demanding to come inside.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve opens his mouth to protest, but it devolves into a ragged yawn. Chuckling, Bucky tugs his threadbare blanket over them and pulls Steve close. “You need to sleep. We can clean up and figure this out later.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing to figure out,” Steve argues doggedly. “I wanted this; I don’t regret it, and I want it to happen again.”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky kisses the top of Steve’s head and breaths in the familiar scent. He can’t lose Steve, even if that means flaunting society’s norms and skirting legal codes. Steve’s been the most important part of his life for as long as he can remember. Preserving that is worth everything.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll see,” Bucky repeats. “Until then, sleep, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve drifts off first, and Bucky, exhausted from his shift, follows soon after. They can deal with the consequences later. For now, they’re together, safe, and drifting in a golden cloud of sated fatigue. Bucky’s never been quite so content now that he has the taste of Steve’s sweet kisses on his lips.</p>
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